Sometimes

Sometimes I see you and I’m just so glad to see you.

Sometimes I wonder how you’re really doing and what’s really going on.

Sometimes I ask you.

Sometimes I don’t and then I wished that I had.

Sometimes we talk and we really talk.

Sometimes life is too busy or the kids are too loud and we try, but we can’t.

Sometimes we just don’t try hard enough.

Sometimes I’m honest and I tell you what I’m really thinking, what I’m really feeling.

Sometimes you do too.

Sometimes it’s powerful, that kinship we have.

Sometimes it can change our path.

Sometimes distractions get in the way.

Sometimes we are discouraged and don’t know how to keep going.

Sometimes we are stuck and need each other’s help to be freed from our bondage.

Sometimes we just need to cry together or dry the eyes of the other.

Sometimes there’s joy and it over takes us and spills out over all and all over the other.

Sometimes there’s pain and the pain threatens to drown us and we ride the wave together.

Sometimes I’m afraid to say what I think is true, because what if it hurt you or what if it changed you?

Sometimes we walk away from each other never knowing, never seeing, missing the most important.

Sometimes we see and we really see and we meet the need.

And sometimes, just sometimes, we are true friends, sisters who would give up anything to see the smile of the other. To know they are doing ok on this road called life, or to be there to answer the call when they’re not. Sometimes God has us be His hands and His feet.

Sometimes and we will never be the same.

Hormones or Heroines?

I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic as of late. Yes, a little emotional too.

I watched Sarah, Plain and Tall last Sunday afternoon with Olivia and cried the entire way through it. Thankfully she didn’t notice.

It’s amazing how much pregnancy hormones will effect every aspect of your life. Not only your stomach (queasy anyone?), joints, hair and nail growth, a protruding abdomen, etc… but also your ability to make it through a movie you can almost quote, without bawling like a baby.

There has been a lot swirling around me lately. A lot of pain and grief. But also much joy. Sometimes it’s hard to sort through the feelings… deal with the grief yet celebrate the joy, living life at the same time.

It has been a hard season, these last few months. But we are good and holding on to the promises we have.

Recently I was reading the blog of a dear lady who has meant a lot to me through my life. I was reminded of the faithfulness of God and how He ministers to each of us during the different seasons we find ourselves in.

I thought back over my life and was filled with thankfulness, for all those God placed in my life at just the right time. Sometimes I wasn’t even aware of their presence until after. Sometimes it was in the isle at Wal-mart, in the hall way at church, learning geometry, sitting in Sunday School, eating chicken salad, drinking hot tea… I know God has shaped and molded me through those precious women, encouraging me along the way. I wish that I could say thank you to each one, to tell them what they’ve meant to me, how I changed because of their influence and how I still remember.

It would be impossible to name them all.

I wish they could see my tears even now, hormones and all, for they would see my deep gratitude.

And then I can’t help but remember the 3 precious women in Ukraine. Those I feel I left behind after too short a time of teaching and instructing. The 3 who put their life on hold for a few days to seek healing. Who were scared, who didn’t want to but knew they had to. Who risked everything to come partake in God’s Word with two American girls who really didn’t know what they were doing. My thoughts never drift too far away from them, wondering where they are now and the ways God has found them, how they really are. They are my true heroines. And will forever be. The women who have lost so much, yet risk it all to become whole again.

I have been so blessed to have known so many women who have in some way changed me. I pray my own daughter will be as blessed. There’s only so much (and oh how much) a mama can say. We women need the words and lives and examples of other women, throughout our lives.

So thank you, you have all meant so much…

Moving on up…

The past week has been grueling and exhausting. But we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I am thankful.

We moved this past weekend!

We have moved before, many times before, but somehow I forgot how much work it is!! I was trying to clean off the stove top this morning and my arms felt like jello! So I left it dirty – it’s not going anywhere.

Even as I’m typing I am realizing that my fingertips hurt! Ugh!

But as exhausting as it has been, it has probably been the best move we have had so far. DQ and I still love each other. No one got hurt that bad. And we managed not to forget anything or anyone! Plus, we moved into a great house that I think we are going to love – I mean, I already do!

We are renting from some dear old friends. (They aren’t old, we have just been friends for a long time!) He was the leader of our youth group. That’s pretty much where Dustin and I fell in love. But most importantly where we grew the most spiritually during our teen years. Mike was a wonderful youth leader, mentor and friend. And I remember Sherry made the best chili and enchaladas!

Dustin and I were two of the 8 or 9 that attended his first youth group meeting back in ’98 I think. And it just so happened that we were able to be there for his last youth meeting in ’09. Mike had a huge impact in both or our lives. I have never been challenged the way Mike challenged us. Not only spiritually, but in our purity as well.

For a long time Dustin and I thought that we would go into youth ministry. I think that was due in large part to Mike and the way he not only discipled us, but loved and cared for us. We wanted to do that for kids too.

That’s not the direction God took us, but the imprint Mike left has always remained. I am so thankful God provided his leadership in our lives at that time. It forever changed us.

And now he is our landlord!! It’s kinda funny and really great at the same time. We are so thankful to be here.

Someone asked me how many times we had moved and I couldn’t remember exactly, so let’s see:

Grace Park to Bonair
Bonair to Longcreek
Longcreek to Seacrest
Seacrest to Longcreek
Longcreek to Stagecoach
Stagecoach to Sam’s Pt.
Sam’s Pt. to Stagecoach
Stagecoach to Willow Pt.
Willow Pt. to Sunset
Sunset to Pine Run
I think I told them 11 times, but I was close! And remember this has happened in just 8 years of marriage!! I think we have the military beat!
Hopefully we will be here for a while and I can put down some temporary roots!! But I feel certain we will move a few more times before it’s all over – it’s just what we do!!