Today I feel war weary.
I have been waking up tired. Timid and slow to face the day.
There have been other times when I have felt war weary. Tired of fighting against… there is always something to fight against.
I guess these times of weariness are inevitable. For this is a weary world.
“Do not grow weary in doing good…”
I wonder how this is possible. Truly. On this side of things I mean. When there is always some frustration you keep bumping into. And you wish you could just ease by, but you can’t. So you keep pushing and pushing.
My muscles are sore and my heart aches.
So today I’ve decided not to fight (as much). I’m not saying this is a good thing. In a way I’m just giving up. As a mother, you have to fight. Fight for discipline. Fight for naps. Fight for order and control.
But I’m tired of being the enforcer. The referee. The all around bad-guy.
Can I say these things?
Because we aren’t really allowed to give up. To give in.
But I am today.
Don’t worry. It’s not for good. Just a little break from the war. What’s that called R &R? Yeah, that’s just what I need…