I started drowning last Friday.
Drowning in sad thoughts.
Thinking over this last year and all the difficult circumstances we have been thrown into like a raging sea.
I know I am not special in this. Many of you have lost so much and have experienced such sadness this year. I have ridden the waves of your burdens too, as only one can from a distance. It has been a tough year for many.
I feel tired and weak. It’s hard swimming against the tide. The under current threatens to pull you under and sweep you away.
That almost happened to me once when I was a child. If it weren’t for my strong Daddy’s arm I was holding on to with all of my might, I’m sure the current would have overtaken me.
Hmm… what a picture.
Maybe I am tired from holding on so tight. Grasping with all of my might to the truth of His words, His promises, trusting so hard when things just don’t make sense or go the way that seems right. When sin enters and destroys, when pain and meager efforts to control begin to overtake me.
Yes, I’m tired.
I have been tempted to get frustrated with Christmas coming so fast as it always does. With so much to do and no time or energy to do it. But that would truly be drowning. That would be loosing sight of the shore line.
It is for this reason we can celebrate. His coming.
If the toilets aren’t cleaned or the carpets go un-vacuumed, what does it matter?
He has come to give us rest, true rest in Him. He came to leave us with a Comforter for these times of deep sadness and trial. He came so that we wouldn’t have to drown in a sea of despair. He came to be our Rescuer. And He holds all things together even if it looks like everything is falling apart.
That is the life line I am tightly holding onto these days. My knuckles are white, my jaw a bit clenched, but I’m not going to let go. If I do, I’ll sink, I’m sure of it.