This was our 4th week of homeschooling this school year. And I have to admit, I am thankful it’s Friday!
It’s our second year at it and it’s a struggle every day. Some days are better than others with cheerful attitudes, excitement to learn, excitement to teach! And then there are the other days when we all just have a good cry…
There is so much sacrifice that goes into homeschooling. And, once again, I’ve decided to be real about it.
Yesterday I found myself at the eye doctor for my annual check up. I really like my eye doctor. She’s around my age and has the cutest ChicAgo accent. =) Everything is just “fantAstic!”
So we got to talking (we had a year to catch up on) and she told me that they had had their first baby 7 months ago. I congratulated her, of course, I mean how exciting is it to have your first! That got us talking about babies and kids and I told her I had three. We talked about how fun they are, how much work it is and how it changes you…
We chatted a few minutes and then she said, “Well at least they are all back to school, right?”
I smiled and said, “Yes, well, I homeschool them. So they are back to school, but they are still home with me.”
You never know what kind of response you’re going to get these days. But she was very nice and said,
“Oh, wow, that’s wonderful!”
I scooted back into the big chair and said, “Yes, it is wonderful, but it’s hard and I don’t always have a good attitude about it…especially last week when some of my friend’s kids were all going back to school and honestly, I was a little jealous!”
She looked a little taken back. She stilled the papers in my chart she had been shuffling, “But don’t you want to homeschool? I mean, do you wish you had put them in school or do you have to homeschool?” she asked.
I answered, “No, I am not being forced to homeschool. It was a decision my husband and I made together. It’s what we feel is the best for our family this year. We believe in it. But it’s not easy. It’s really hard. And I have to work at having a good attitude and being disciplined and being motivated. It’s a huge responsibility and one I don’t take lightly.” And I could have continued with… I worry I’m not giving them enough. I get overwhelmed and just want to quit. Then I feel guilty and want to quit. And I get so tired of dealing with the attitudes and the ‘making them do it’ and the planning and the struggling with not being creative and impatient and did I mention I’m tired?
But I didn’t want to scare her.
She paused slightly and said, “Yeah, I guess it would be hard. You have to be their mom and their teacher…” She thought about that for a second then added, “…and you don’t really get a break either.”
“No, you don’t”, I confirmed. “But it’s worth it. It is. And I know that. I can already see that it is. But it’s still hard. And I don’t always have a good attitude, but I’m trying.”
After that I think we talked about the hurricane or something else. But my thoughts lingered on our other conversation.
It is hard. But maybe it’s supposed to be. Because anything worth having is worth sacrificing for…right?
And then the words of my dear friend in Kentucky echoed in my ear…”Give yourself a break! And give your kids a break! You are doing a good job, you are! And they are doing fine, they are getting sooo much! Really, they are…” (thanks E)
God gives you the encouragement as you need it. Just enough to keep going. So we will… keep going that is. Until God directs us otherwise.
But boy, I sure am glad it’s Friday…!