My Scars

Sometimes I get questions. But mostly I get stares. Sometimes I notice. But mostly I don’t.

It’s not something I think about anymore. That is unless I feel pain.

Lately I have been feeling a lot of pain. It makes me worry. I get frustrated. I want to be whole.

I want to be able to point to my scars and say, See I had the surgery! I’m better now. You can stop sending me pain. But the pain still remains.

Maybe it always will.

Instead of focusing on the pain, maybe I should focus more on the healing that has taken place.

I no longer have to wear double braces. I can sleep at night. I can sit with my back to a chair. I can drive. I can open a door. I can play the piano again. I can hold my babies without gritting teeth. I can cook and write and serve and throw a ball (well sort of) and brush my hair and put on make-up and clean up dishes and pick up toys and…   wow

What kind of scars do you have? Can you see them or just feel them? How do they hurt you? Are you ashamed? Do people stare? Is there still feeling? Or maybe you have kept them so hidden they are just numb by now?

I think God sometimes uses the pain that’s left to remind us of how much He has already healed us. To remind of us of His power and grace in our lives. So that we can share our stories to encourage others. Sometimes there is still pain because there is still healing left to be done. Maybe you haven’t gone there yet. Maybe it hasn’t been the right time. And sometimes God has to open up the wound again so that true healing can take place. It healed up crooked or tangled and has to be reset. It’s all a painful process, but thankfully God is our Great Physician who is tender, careful, whom we can trust.

Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits –
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5

One thought on “My Scars

  1. This has been a very special psalm for me but I never looked at it this way. I looked at being redeemed from the pit-saved from things outside myself, not focusing on the things that are in me. I do have scars, there are still open wounds. Not everything will be healed before Jesus returns. But you are right, He does give us some scars that remind us just how far he has brought us. Praise the Lord, O my soul!

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